Hm... oh yeah... i kinda missed the part whereby you mentioned you only have 12dB slopes. But hm... you *could* still use steeper slopes IMO, especially the midbass, and also you can only use low pass on your a/d/s/ amp and use the high pass on the HU for more flexible slopes(as in lowpass of bandpass and highpass of bandpass), that way, you are only limited to 12dB between the midrange and tweeter crossover point. And more flexible for the crossover between the midrange and the midbass
And well, like you said, there's no written rule for the crossover settings, it's all about personal preference. Happy tuning, 3-way will only make you have more white hair :D But, the end result, would be satisfying ;)